Fukkad! Humor & Fun Blog

Notice displayed on a plane:

There is no smoking in the cabin on this flight. There is also no smoking in the lavatories. If we see smoke coming from the lavatories, we will assume you are on fire and put you out. This is a free service we provide.

There are two smoking sections on this flight, one outside each wing exit.

We do have a movie in the smoking sections tonight … hold on, let me check what it is … Oh here it is; the movie tonight is Gone with the Wind.

Smoking Facts:

• Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
• American Drugstores: Why do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
• If you smoke after sex, you’re doing it too fast.
• The sex was so good, even the neighbours had a cigarette afterwards.

Smoky Questions:

Q: What’s the difference between the 1960’s and the 2000’s?
A: In the 2000’s, a guy goes into a chemist shop and shouts, “Give me a box of condoms!” … and then whispers to the shop assistant, “Oh, and slip in a packet of cigarettes, too.”

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, “Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question.”