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Office Vocabulary III
GENERICA
Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same, no matter where one is,
such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions. Used as in:
'We were so lost in generica that I forgot what city we were in.'
OHNO-SECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
SITCOMs
What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to
stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.
STARTER MARRIAGE
A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.
Submitted by Shaiye (26), New York
PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMS AND MEANINGS:
OUTGOING PERSONALITY -- Always going out of office.
GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS -- Able to bullshit.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS -- Spends a lot of time on the phone.
AVERAGE EMPOLYEE -- Not too bright.
EXEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED -- Made no major blunders yet.
WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY -- Too ugly to get a date.
ACTIVE SOCIALLY -- Drinks a lot.
FAMILY IS ACTIVE SOCIALLY -- Spouse drinks,too.
INDEPENDENT WORKER -- Nobody knows what he/she does.
Quick Thinking -- Offers plausible excuses
Submitted by Reena Jose (),
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