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Similarities between the Titanic video and the Clinton grand jury testimony video:
Titanic: $9.99 on the Internet
Clinton: $9.99 on the Internet
Titanic: over 3 hours long
Clinton: over 3 hours long
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Titanic: villain - White Star Line
Clinton: villain - Ken Starr
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic: In one part, Jack enjoys a good cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined
Clinton: Ditto for Monica
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit
Clinton: Let's not go there
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton: Monica forced to return her gifts
Titanic: Behind the scenes, Leonardo DiCaprio is wildly popular
Clinton: Behind the scenes, Bill has a 70% approval rating
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary
Submitted by Monica (), Texas
Subject: Clinton Monument
Dear American,
We have the distinguished honor of being on the committee to raise five million dollars for a monument of Bill Clinton. We originally wanted to put him on Mt.Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for two more faces.
We then decided to erect a statue of Bill Clinton in the Washington, DC Hall of Fame. However, we were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed. It did not seem proper to place it beside the statue of George Washington, who never told a lie,
or beside Jesse Jackson, who never told the truth, since Bill Clinton couldn't ever tell the difference.
We finally decided to place it beside Christopher Columbus, the greatest Democrat of them all. He left not knowing where he was going, did not know where he was, returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on someone else's money.
Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land." Nearly 5,000 years later, Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."
Now, Bill Clinton's policy was to steal your shovel, tax your ass, raise the price of your Camels, and mortgage the Promised Land.
If you are one of the fortunate people who has anything left after paying taxes, we will expect a generous contribution to this worthwhile project.
Thank You,
The Monument Committee
PS: The committee has raised $1.35 so far.
Regards,
Frank
Submitted by JMAMHocker (), California
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