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10 Ways to Piss a Guy Off When He’s Watching Football
1. Stand in front of the t.v. and show him the routine you learned at 5th grade cheerleading camp that’s sort of similar to the one that the Raiderettes do during half-time. Except… make sure that half-time is now over, and if you can’t remember the whole routine, just start over from the beginning.
2. Cheer really loud and jump up and down when the other team scores. When he asks you why you’re cheering for the other team, just say you like their uniforms better.
3. Every time a team makes a first, second, or third down, ask him, “Now who has the ball?”
4. Tell him that you were offered box seats to the game because your boss wasn’t going to use them, but you turned them down. When he gives you a look like he doesn’t believe you, follow up with, “It just didn’t seem like it was going to be a very interesting game.”
5. Volunteer to take care of ordering the food, and instead of pizza and beer, have the pizza guy deliver garden salads and diet soda. When he complains, start crying and tell him you were just trying to look good for him. Be sure to say, “You want me to be fat, don’t you?!”
6. Invite over a bunch of your girlfriends who don’t like football, and then sit next to him on the couch and talk about why good girls always go for assholes.
7. Turn the volume down on the t.v. and then take the batteries out of the remote. See how long he pushes the button and smacks the remote against his leg before actually getting off his ass to turn it up “manually.
8. Ask him in approximately four minute intervals, “Now who’s ahead?” When he starts to get annoyed, change the question to “Now how many quarters are in this game?” If he’s listening, he’ll look at you like he’s wondering if you’re serious. When he gives you that look, accuse him of thinking you’re stupid and then launch into a discussion about how important it is for you to feel good about yourself within the context of your relationship with him.
9. Cancel your cable the day of the game. When he freaks out, tell him that he’s the one who wanted you to start spending less on frivolous things. Then, leave him alone while you go get your nails done.
10. Tell him after the first few minutes of the first quarter that you really need to talk about your relationship. When he tries to convince you that he’ll talk about it later, get angry and tell him that he cares more about football than he does about you. When he denies that, say, “If you really cared more about me than that stupid game, you’d turn it off.” Then just stand there. Guys really do hate this. :) Trust me. I know.
Submitted by Christine (), Chrisvschris, USA
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