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Bus Etiquette!
Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.
Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.
Son: But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap!
Submitted by Marie Stuart (17),
ANNOYING BOY ON BUS
A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
Submitted by Squall (), USA
Mutli-talented hero(ine)
My wife just bought the DVD of "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension,"
and was explaining the premise to our daughters.
"He's a brain surgeon, a rock star, a scientist, and a comic-book hero."
Daughter's reply: "Oh, he's like Barbie."
Submitted by Michael Weiland (), Netherland
Baby Inside!
A little boy in a hospital walked up to a pregnant woman and pointed to her stomach.
Little Boy: What's in there?
Woman: A baby, lovely and sweet.
Little Boy: Why did you eat him up?
Submitted by Rashida Masalia (), Saifee Hall
Little Johnny
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.
Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.
"Johnny, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him.
"I don't have to," the little boy replied.
"Of course you do," his mother insisted, "we say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house," Johnny explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook!"
Submitted by Priya Chand (), dewani.diaryland.com
Glass of Cider
A little girl came running into the house crying her eyes out and cradling her hand. “Mommy, quick! Get me a glass of cider!” she wailed.
“Why do you want a glass of cider?” asked mom.
“I cut my hand on a thorn, and I want the pain to go away.”
Confused, but weary of the child’s whining, the mother obliged and poured her a glass of cider. The little girl immediately dunked her hand in it. “Ouch! It still hurts! This cider doesn’t work!” whined the little one.
“What are you talking about?” asked her increasingly perplexed parent.
“Well I overheard my big sister say that whenever her friend gets a prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in cider!”
Submitted by (),
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