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Get an opinion!
The patient was lying in bed, still groggy from the effects of the recent operation.
His doctor came in, looking very glum.
"I can't be sure what's wrong with you," the doctor said. "I think it's the drinking."
"Okay," the patient said. "Can we get an opinion from a doctor who's sober?"
Submitted by Ruby (25), IN
Swallow
Once a man came running to a doctor and said, "Doctor, Doctor, My son has just swallowed a film"
Doctor - "Let's hope nothing develops"
Submitted by Jessica Alba (27), Indianapolis
Dead Appointment!
Suffering from a bad case of the flu, the outraged patient bellowed, "Three weeks? The doctor can't see me for three weeks? I could well be dead by then!"
Calmly the voice at the other end of the line replied, "If so, would you have your wife call to cancel the appointment?"
Submitted by Amrita Ben (), B.G.E.S.College, Cal.
Surgeon’s After Work
A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work.
As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"
"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "In fact, three doctors are there already!"
Submitted by Dr. U K Singh
Psychic Advice
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled, "This is great!
"Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks.
"No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Submitted by Ruby (25), IN
High school classmate
While waiting for my first appointment in the reception room of a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name!!!
Suddenly, I remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 40 years ago!!
Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been MY classmate.
After he had examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended the local high school.
"Yes!!!!" he replied.
"When did you graduate?" I asked.
He answered, "In 1944!!!"
"Why, you were in my class!!!!" I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely, and then asked, "What did you teach?!!!"
Submitted by Ruby (25), IN
Try coming home at 3 in the morning!
Doug goes to a doctor and says: "Doctor, my wife recently has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back?"
The doctor replies, "Try coming home at 3 in the morning!"
Submitted by Ruby (25), IN
The Obstetrician's Wife
At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician's wife noticed another guest, a big, over sexed blonde, was making overtures at her
husband. It was a large, informal gathering, so she tried to laugh it off until she saw them disappear into a bedroom together.
At once she rushed into the room, pulled the two apart and screamed, "Look lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"
Submitted by "Silkwork" (), Ind
Prostrate
A man walks into his doctor's office and sits down in the waiting room. While he is waiting his turn to be seen,
a casual acquaintance walks in and sits down next to him.
The newcomer asks "W w what are yyy you ddd doing here?"
The man replies, "I am waiting to see the doctor."
"W wwhy dd do yyy you wwant to sss see hhim?"
The man replies, "Well, if you must know, I have a prostate problem."
"A pp prostate ppp problem, wwhat's ttthat?"
"Well, if you must know. I pee like you talk."
Submitted by Melissa Wockhardt (),
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