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Email this Page Print this Page Who wears the pants? A young couple gets married and on the first night the husband, a big man takes off his trousers and throws them to his wife and says, "Put these on". She puts them on and says "Heh, I can't wear these, they are too big for me" to which he replies "That's right!" and "Don't forget it - I'm the man who wears the trousers in this family" With that young wife takes off her knickers and says, "Try these on". He only gets as far as putting them over one knee to find he cannot fit into them and says "Hell - I can't get into your knickers" to which she responds "Yes and you won't unless your goddamn attitude changes!" Men Women Jokes Submitted by Pooja Tibre (24), Goregaon, Mumbai Be Strong, Honey A man escapes from a prison where he has been kept for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money & guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her on the neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife; "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, & hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction, no matter how much he ravages you. This guy is, probably dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you". To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom. I told him where to find it. Be strong, honey. I love you, too" Men Women Jokes Submitted by Sudip Chatterjee (34), Dubai The Wife's Appendix! A man phoned his doctor late at night saying his wife appeared to have appendicitis. "That's impossible," the physician replied, peeved at being awakened. "She had an appendectomy last year. Don't be stupid. Have you ever seen anybody growing a second appendix?" "No, you jerk!," the husband replied. "Have you ever seen anybody with a second wife? Men Women Jokes Submitted by Sudip Chatterjee (34), Dubai Mirror Mirror Wife: Yesterday I saw a very beautiful girl. Husband: Then what happened? Wife: I just kept on admiring her, on and on.. Husband (gets irritated): WHAT happened then? Wife smiled and said: I moved away from the mirror! Men Women Jokes Submitted by Puja Tibre (24), Mumbai SMS Q&A Q: 'When do most women care for a man's company?' A: 'When he owns it, of course!' Men Women Jokes Submitted by Eva Mendes (), via SMS, DLH Got a good one yourself? Submit your best joke to FUKKAD, and if we laugh, we might make you famous - or at least put your name, email, address & country on the site. 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