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What Job Ads Really Mean
“Competitive Salary”
We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition.
“Join our fast-paced company”
We have no time to train you.
“Casual work atmosphere”
We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
“Some overtime required”
Some every night and some every weekend.
“Duties will vary”
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
“Must have an eye for detail”
We have no quality assurance.
“Career-minded”
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).
“Apply in person”
If you’re old, fat or ugly you’ll be told that the position has been filled.
“Seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience”
You’ll need it to replace the three people who just quit.
“Problem-solving skills a must”
You’re walking into perpetual chaos.
“Requires team leadership skills”
You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
“Good communication skills”
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
Submitted by Amy Ryan (19),
Earring!
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an
earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a somewhat conservative fellow,
so naturally he's curious about the sudden change in fashion sense.
The man walks up to his co-worker and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
"Well, I'm curious," begged the man, "how long have you been wearing an earring?"
"Er, ever since my wife found it in our bed."
Submitted by Ajay Wankhade (),
Why aren't you like your boss?
When you take a long time, you're slow, but when your boss takes long, he's thorough.
Submitted by Cyber Junky (22), Silicon Valley
Got a good joke yourself? Submit your best Office joke to FUKKAD, and if we laugh, we might make you famous - or at least put your name, email, address & country on the site.
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