 |
The Liberal Dictionary
Soviet Union- The workers' utopia that failed because the right people weren't in charge.
Public Interest- A liberal cause.
Special Interest- A conservative cause
Democracy- Letting us liberals choose your leaders
Peace- When all opposition to the socialist movement has been silenced through propaganda, imprisonment or violence
Truth- A bit of information which is manipulated into what liberals want you to think
Religious Extremist- One who holds to any set of ideologies that does not accept or coincide with the socialist or atheistic worldviews
Racism- Any disagreement that a white person may have with someone else who is not white
Civil Liberties- Rights that are given and can be easily revoked by the government
Loophole- Giving a conservative a special tax break
Target Tax Cut- Giving a liberal a special tax break
Racist- White Person
Hate-Speech- A Republican's/Christian's/Conservative's lips are moving
Free Speech- The speech of liberals
Free Press- All media except Fox News and Talk Radio
Blacklisting and Hate Mongering- Conservative speech
Homosexual- alternative lifestyle
Heterosexual- artificial gender role
Capital Punishment- Murder
Abortion- Choice
Ecomomic Growth- Opression
Government Growth- Prosperity
Racist/Bigot/Homophobe/Nazi/Fascist- Anyone winning an arguement against a liberal
Clear and Present Danger- Guns in hands of law abiding citizens
Global Warming-Yuppies driving SUVs
Gun control- Diane Feinstien and Robustly Abominable [Rosie O'Donnell] can have one, but not you
Intolerance- Disagreement with a liberal's point of view
Mean spirited- Anyone who subscribes to the notion, "love the sinner, hate the sin"
Uncle Tom-
1. A black male who is not a victim
2. A black male who is not liberal
3. A black male who doesn't listen to Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton and the NAA(L)CP
Death Penalty-
1. The process by which future electoral majorities are lost.
2. The shameful process by which true entrepreneurs are mercilessly cast out of the system for their refusal to live by the restrictions of society.
Mexico- A reserve of convenient votes to be tapped as necessary.
Politically Correct- A style of speech devised solely to be continually one step ahead of Republicans and evolving to be continually one step ahead of any form of common sense whatsoever.
Sexual Relations- Any form of physical contact not involving physical contact.
Undocumented Immigrant- Illegal aliens
Mean-spirited- The tendency to disagree with a liberal
Bipartisanship- When conservatives give in to everything liberals want
Campaign Finance Reform- What needs to happen when Republicans find legitimate ways to raise more money than Democrats
Civil Rights- What everyone should have except conservatives
Compromise- When conservatives do everything liberals want
Conservative- Someone who wants to starve children and old people, destroy the environment, shoot everyone with their assault gun, run over others with their SUV, dump toxic waste in everyone else's swimming pool, and become one of The Richest 1% of Taxpayers.
The Constitution- A document written by a bunch of Dead White Males that needs to become a "living document" every time liberals don't get their way, and followed to the letter when they do.
Disenfranchisement- What happens when the liberal candidate loses the election.
Hate Speech-
1. Anything spoken by a conservative that even remotely implies Politically Correct People deserve anything less than sainthood.
2. Anytime a conservative says something that disagrees with a liberal.
McCarthyism - When average Americans exercise their right to boycott celebrities who make anti-American statements.
Media Bias- The right-wing slant of The Washington Times, National Review, Rush Limbaugh and Fox News Channel.
Negative Campaigning- Telling the truth about a liberal candidate.
Oil- What it's really about whenever a conservative deploys American troops.
The Poor- Anyone who will vote for liberals but can't make a donation to the DNC
Recession- Any time a conservative is President.
Right-wing Extremist-
1. Any Appellate or Supreme Court nomination by a conservative President.
2. Anyone who disagrees with a liberal.
Special Interests- Any group of people who say things liberals don't like
Spending cut- Any time a Federal Program doesn't get as much money as liberals want
Tax cut- Whenever The Rich don't have their tax burden at least doubled
Tax Hike- Whenever The Poor don't get their refund on taxes they never payed
Unfair- Whenever liberals don't get their way
Unilateral- Any time one nation in the world objects to military action taken by the U.S., even if every other country in the world supports us
Need- When someone wants someone else's money.
Greed- When someone wants to keep their money.
Jokes Submitted by Celebcurry (20),
Got a good one yourself? Submit your best Political Jokes to FUKKAD, and if we laugh, we might make you famous - or at least put your name, email, address & country on the site.
Send it to us
|
