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Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.
- Lazerus Long
Submitted by Ruby Tibre,
Man forgives women anything save the wit to outwit him.
- Minna Antrim, American Epigrammist
Submitted by Ragini Daksh,
According to a new study, Southerners are much more likely to have sex on their wedding night than other people. That makes sense- you’re always going to be more comfortable with a relative.
- Jay Leno
Submitted by Ruby Tibre,
Like it or Not..
"I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either."
- Jack Benny.
"I do not like broccoli, and I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. I'm the President of the United States, and I'm not going to eat anymore broccoli."
- George Bush.
Submitted by Jerry Maclane (15), Ohio, USA
"The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it."
- Robert Oppenheimer.
Submitted by Cheryl, goa
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