Reunion Of All Time Greats

In response to the invitation for a rather unusual *REUNION of all time greats:*

*Newton* said he'd drop in.

*Socrates* said he'd think about it.

*Ohm* resisted the idea.

*Boyle* said he was under too much pressure.

*Darwin* said he'd wait to see what evolved.

*Pierre and Marie Curie* radiated enthusiasm.

*Volta* was electrified at the prospect.

*Pavlov* positively drooled at the thought.

*Ampere* was worried he wasn't current enough though alternately none were.

*Edison* thought it would be illuminating.

*Einstein* said it would be relatively easy to attend.

*Archimedes* was buoyant at the thought.

*Morse* said, "I'll be there on the dot. Can't stop now, must dash."

*Hertz* said he planned to attend with greater frequency in the future.

*Wilbur Wright* accepted, provided he and *Orville* could get a flight.

*Aryabhatta* said there were zero chances of him showing up.

*Marconi* said, he would listen to the report on wireless.

*Pythagoras* refused because he thought that the organisers were not looking at the reunion through the  right angle.

Buzzword Writing Method

Techno vocabulary to impress your boss/clients

Select three digits and use the corresponding buzzword, 4-8-7 Synchronised Third-generation Capability

Political Map of Ireland

Indian response Dedicated to BBC 

Knifey Cure for Headaches

When you encounter a problem, it's important to gather as much information as you can before implementing a solution. If not, the situation can turn bad quickly…

Joe had been having horrible headaches, so he went to see his doctor.

The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed, but in the end he came to the conclusion that he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. Then he saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need. A new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eye d him briefly and said, "Let's see, size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!" the tailor said.

Joe tried on the suit, and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years."

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

He walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see, size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

But the salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."

Political Map of United Kingdom

My Husband Not At Home

Some days ago, I came to know a  girl on the Internet. Beautiful...

After some chat, I felt that we had connected at a deeper level.

Yesterday, she asked me to visit her house and said, "My husband is on a business trip, and I'm alone at home."

I was very cautious and asked, "Will your husband suddenly come back?

She said, "No, but just in case he does, you just say that you are from Cleaning Co. and that your company sent you to clean the house. And then, clean the glass or something." "Anyway, the Pongal festival is coming. My husband won't suspect a thing."

Fast forward, I was at her house. And what a big coincidence - Not even minutes in the house, her husband came back! 

I had to be quiet and pretend to do the cleaning, wiping windows, cleaning the kitchen and the floor. And also tidy the bedrooms and wash the bathrooms. All the while, her husband and her was next to me giving all kinds of ridiculous instructions.

When I had finished and was about to leave, her husband asked, "How much?"

Even before I could utter a word, she said, "I have already paid the company." 

On the way home, I kept thinking about the whole saga. The more I thought about it, the more I felt DAMN cheated 😰...

Cleaners are hard to find, beware of the new scam! 

🙈🙈😂😂

Ingredients of Beer

Cyclists

Hilarious but true too 😄

CEO of a Bank got economists thinking when he said :

A cyclist🚴🏼 is a disaster for the country's economy

- He does not buy the car & does not take car loan

- Does not buy car insurance

- Does not buy Fuel

- Does not send his car for servicing & repairs

- Does not use paid Parking

- Does not become Obese

- Yes,.....and well, damn it !!  Healthy people are not needed for economy. They do not buy drugs. They do not go to Hospitals & Doctors.

They add nothing to country's GDP.

On the contrary, every new McDonald outlet creates at least 30 jobs - 10 Cardiologists, 10 Dentists, 10 weight loss experts apart from people working in McDonald outlet.

Choose wisely:

A Cyclist or a McDonald ?

 

Worth thinking. 🤔🤔😀😀

Original Americans!

All about ethnicity and racial finger!

Friends' Advise for Married Happiness!

After the death of his wife an elderly man married a young woman .. 

Now he was spending less time with his friends. His concerned friends enquired if there was a problem.

"I'm to pass time with you but my poor wife gets lonely when I'm away." 

Friends advised him to keep a young tenant at home, your wife will be happy in the company of a younger person.

The elderly man promptly acted on their advise and leased a room in house to a young tenant.

The friends were meeting more often. One day the friends jokingly asked, "How is your wife now?" 

She is not lonely at all, in fact she is happy and *"She is pregnant"*

The friends laughed, as they expected this. "How is the tenant?" they asked.

The man replied very soberly 

*"She is also pregnant* .." 

Never underestimate the *Power of - Senior Citizen* 

🕺🕺🥃🥃💃💃

Cricket World Cup 2019

In this Cricket World Cup we have witnessed:

1. Two Days of a "One Day" match between India and NZ

2. A Six in the final that went rolling on the ground

3. NZ losing the final by "ZERO RUNS" and "ZERO WICKETS"

4. An Irishman lifting the World Cup for England

5. A final decided by a weird rule and bad umpiring

6. First time ever in cricket a team never won a match by runs or wickets but by a rule

Congrats ICC for a great comedy show in the guise of an international cricket competition!