Lockdown Advice for Mating Partners

My brother stick to your 2 rounds with ur wife or partner during this lockdown. If you start going 6 she might want to know who's been getting the extra 4 all this while. 

May wisdom with you - Mugabe

Sanitisation

When my partner came back home, I made him bath with Dettol and vinegar, gargle with sanitised mouth wash and splash Cologne. 

Is that enough or shall I boil him? 

#corona #lockdown

After Corona Lockdown

After the lockdown days are over....

Your Horoscope THIS Week

For once you won't have to match your star signs.

Sanitise your Hands

Personal hygiene 

Corona Baby Boomers

Eventually, everyone will be quarantined to their houses with no sports to watch.. and in 9months......

Exposure

A drunk naked woman boards a cab.

Driver of the cab keeps staring at her and does not start the cab.

Woman: Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?

Driver: Cool down, ma'am. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering as to where you have kept the money to pay me?

Moral : This is what most of the Banks failed to do...... Assessing the repayment capacity before enjoying the exposure!!

😂🤣😂🤣

Face Mask causes Death

One more death but not because of Coronavirus.

He reached home with wrong mask! :-)

Jackie Chan on Cough

Deep meaning worda by Jackie Chan, "earlier we used to cough to hide our fart, now we fart to cover our cough'

Not quite some #TravelAdvisory

**Alert levels - updated ** 

Not quite #TravelAdvice... ;-) 

***UK Virus ALERT***

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to the recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." 

 

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. 

 

The virus has been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get the Bastard." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." 

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." 

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

(Originally received on WhatsApp)

Flight from China

Flight coming from China!